


Wand of the Cosmo

by MortalAnonymous



Category: Fairly OddParents
Genre: M/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-14
Updated: 2009-02-14
Packaged: 2019-12-07 00:10:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18227282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MortalAnonymous/pseuds/MortalAnonymous
Summary: Aaaa! An explosion caused by stupidity! Cosmo loses his wand! Sanjay finds it and makes Timmy his boyfriend! How will Cosmo and Wanda ever get the wand back and save Timmy? And why does Crocker have a B-plot? Well, why not click already and find out?





	Wand of the Cosmo

The day was bright and sunny in Dimmsdale. Butterflies flitted about as one would expect them to, and birds swooped in and ate the butterflies as one would expect _them_ to. And, in Timmy Turner's back yard, a great deal of construction was going on.

"No, no, he said he wanted that turret over _there_!"

Cosmo scratched his hardhat covered head. "That's not over there?"

Wanda made a face. "In the tree, you idiot! The middle of the lawn is not where you put a _tree_ house!"

"O-hooo, riiiight…" Cosmo smiled, and with a wave of his wand he made the turret poof into the tree where a magnificent wooden castle stood.

Timmy came outside sipping a cool beverage. He also wore a hardhat.

"How's it goin' guys?" greeted Timmy, "Did I miss anything?"

"Oh, not much," Wanda said, voice dripping sarcasm, "Just Mr. Brilliant over there not being able to tell the difference between a trowel and a trough."

"I can so tell the difference." Cosmo retorted, smacking the outer wall of the castle with a trough.

Rolling her eyes, Wanda turned her attention back to Timmy. "But all constructional difficulties aside, I think the idea of wishing for an authentically replicated treecastle was a fun idea. It'll be just like living the Middle Ages…in trees!"

"Uh-huh..!" Timmy nodded happily.

"And what's a super cool authentic treecastle without…" Cosmo waved his wand and poofed into existence… "Super cool explosive defenseees! Yaaaay!"

Wanda and Timmy's eyes bulged. Dynamite, TNT and other assorted explosives littered the yard, and Cosmo was right near the switch.

"What? No, I can't have explosives in my yard!" Timmy waved 'no' frantically.

"Cosmo, you poof these things out of existence right now!" Wanda shouted, "They're too dangerous!"

"Nonsense!" Cosmo beamed, "They're explosive fun! Watch!" He slammed down the switch.

"Aaa-!" was all Wanda and Timmy had time to get out.

**BOOM!**

The explosion was massive, and left everything a charred black mess. Behind the charred blinking figures in the charred black lawn, the charred black treecastle crumbled to dust.

"Eheh-heh." Cosmo laughed nervously at the two glaring at him. He went to wave the mess away, but found himself waving nothing but a fist. He gasped, and then waved his empty fist frantically, as though hoping the missing item would return.

"Ahh!" he fretted when it didn't, "My wand! My beautiful wand! It's gone!"

"Did it get crumbled to pieces too?" asked Timmy.

"Don't be silly." Wanda told him, "Mere explosives can't destroy a magic wand."

"Then what-"

A high speed swishing noise then came to all of their attention. They looked up and saw Cosmo's wand spinning away from them, high, high into the sky.

"My wand!" Cosmo fretted some more.

The wand spun higher and higher into the air, then, losing momentum, turned slowly over and began its plummet back to Earth. It came down, down, and then bonk!, smacked Mr. Crocker on the back of the head as he was passing in front of the Turner house with his fairy seeking device.

Rubbing the back of his head, Crocker now looked at the object lying on the pavement in front of him.

"Hello…what's this?" he questioned, picking it up, "Could it be…a _real_ … ** _magic wand_**?!" Grinning insanely, his eyes bugging out to almost touch it. He brushed his scanner over it expectantly. It beeped negatively.

"Drat," he said with extreme disappointment, "Just a cheap toy…" He threw the thing behind him, and then glared at his machine. Feeling he had to do something, he smacked a red-lettered piece of paper on it, shouting, "F! For not finding me any magic, you worthless hunk of very expensive metal!"

The machine's pixels formed a sad frown. Crocker walked on, sulking.

As he left, Sanjay appeared over the horizon, out for a walk it seemed, and talking to himself.

"…and his hair, the same chocolaty brown as the Indian rhino; his clothing resembles the elegant plumage of the Sarus crane, _and_ he has all the grace and wisdom of the great cow..! Oh how I wish that there was some way-oh hey look a pretty stick!" Sanjay smiled and picked up the wand before going back to his dramatic rant. "Now, as I was saying, oh how I wish there was some way for Timmy Turner to notice the depths at which my heart aches for him! Waaaah!"

**Timmy!**

In a poof that made Sanjay jump, Timmy was suddenly there by the sidewalk.

"Wow," Timmy said cheerfully, "I couldn't help but overhear the depths at which your heart aches for me. Let's be boyfriends!"

Sanjay screamed in girlish excitement. Ecstatically, he grabbed Timmy's hand, and the two of them skipped off down the road. The wand was still clutched in Sanjay's other hand.

…

Cosmo checked his watch. "Gee, shouldn't Timmy have gotten back with my wand by now?" he asked, "It's been over an hour."

"I must admit this _does_ seem a little long…" Wanda agreed, worry evident in her voice.

Cosmo gripped his cheeks. "Oh no!" he gasped, "You don't suppose Timmy got lost on the way to the front lawn do you!?"

Wanda gave him a flat look.

"Do you?!" he reiterated, not getting the look.

"No." Wanda grumped, and then more parentally said, "But I do think we should go check on him and make sure he's alright."

"Right. Good idea," nodded Cosmo, "We can use that Timmy Tracker we had installed but never told Timmy about." He produced a beeping GPS type gizmo from behind his back.

"Right," confirmed Wanda. After checking the coordinates, she waved her wand and transported herself and Cosmo to wherever Timmy was.

**Ka-gone!**

…

"Ok, this is where the Timmy Tracker said Timmy'd be." Wanda said, "Do you see him anywhere?"

From the shelter of a bush in the park, Cosmo and Wanda scanned for Timmy.

"Is that him holding hands with Sanjay and skipping toward us in slow motion?" inquired Cosmo.

"Slow motion?"

"Yeah. With lots of pretty flowers raining down on them."

Wanda poofed herself a pair of binoculars and peered out of the bush with them. It was indeed true. Timmy and Sanjay skipped through the park, in slow motion, with lots of pretty flowers raining down on them. But it was something else that made Wanda's heart freeze.

"Cosmo!" she exclaimed, "Sanjay has your wand!"

"What?"

"Look!" Wanda shoved the binoculars to his eyes and turned his head toward the couple. "We've got to save Timmy!"

"Why? He looks so happy!"

Wanda smacked Cosmo with the binoculars.

"Because," she explained, "He's being trapped by magic! You know Timmy would normally avoid Sanjay like the plague unless he needed a backup friend. That means, knowing Sanjay, he must've wished for Timmy to fall in love with him using your wand. That sort of rule-breaking wish could only be possible if a non-fairy possessed a wand and made it, after all. Da Rules don't apply to non-fairies. But it'll still show up on fairy wish radar, meaning the wish was unauthorized, a threat to our secrecy, and just the kind of thing they could have us taken away from Timmy forever for!"

She thought, and then added, "Not to mention all the trouble you'll be in for losing your wand in the first place."

"Ahh!" Cosmo cried out, "We've got to save Timmy!"

"Unfortunately, since Sanjay's the one who made the wish, and thanks to the Finders Keepers rule is now owner of your wand, he's the only one who can undo it," Wanda explained further. "Somehow we have to get Sanjay to wish Timmy out of love with him."

"But how?" fretted Cosmo, "You've seen the creepy way he stalks Timmy. He'll never undo the wish! Never!"

"Well we have to try." Wanda saw Timmy and Sanjay almost at their bush. "I have an idea. Maybe we can get Sanjay to like someone even more than he likes Timmy. You can disguise yourself as some sort of pretty boy and win him over. Then he'll want Timmy to leave him alone, and you can get your wand back."

"Yaaay, wand!" Cosmo cheered, and instantly poofed himself into Chip Skylark. The only difference was that he had green eyes.

Wanda blinked. "I was thinking maybe more of someone who didn't exist already," she started, but then smiled, "But hey, you can't get more appealing than Chip Skylark!" She booted Cosmo from the bush just as Timmy and Sanjay arrived.

The couple stopped their slow motion skipping, finding a teen singing sensation flat on his face, blocking their way.

"Umm, Chip Skylark?" Timmy questioned, a brow raised. Cosmo lifted his face, smiling widely, and then gracefully flipped himself into a cool standing position, trigger fingers pointing at the two of them, and winking.

"That's me alright," he beamed, "The one and only, super delicious, totally awesome Chip Skylark!" He snapped a few poses.

"Why do you have green eyes?" nosed Timmy.

"Um, contacts?"

"What are you doing lying in the middle of our park sidewalk?" Sanjay input.

Cosmo pounced on the opportunity. "Ah, I'm glad you asked that," he said, "I um, was just in town and, um…" He hadn't quite thought of what he was going to say yet, so he knelt down and grabbed Sanjay's hand, the one that held his wand, coming up on the spot with a blunt, "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Sanjay and Timmy's eyes widened.

"Ex…cuse me?" Sanjay questioned, "Have I even met you?"

"Um, no…" Cosmo faltered, "But aren't I delicious?" He pointed to himself, blinking enticingly, if not a bit desperately.

Sanjay yanked his hand back from Cosmo. "That may be so," he said, "But you are also far too old for me, and my heart already belongs to Timmy Turner." He started to lead Timmy around the fairy, but Cosmo flopped himself around Sanjay's ankles.

"But I lo-hoove youuuu!" he sobbed, "Please, don't leave me!"

"Hey," Timmy broke in angrily, "That's my boyfriend you're talking to!" Loosing himself of Sanjay's hand, he leapt viciously at the now wide-eyed Cosmo. Sanjay and Wanda both flinched as they watched the dust cloud fly. When it settled, Cosmo was a bruised mess on the ground. Timmy dusted his hands pointedly.

"And don't you ever try hitting on him again..!" he ordered. As he walked off, Sanjay adhered himself to Timmy's arm, hearts popping from his head as he raved about how strong and brave the boy was.

Wanda hopped out of the bush, disguised as a squirrel, and up to her fallen husband.

"Oh snookums, are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

Cosmo sniffed. "I feel so rejected..!" he answered, crushed sounding. He poofed into a squirrel as well, and then curled up and sucked his thumb.

"Aw, there there sweetie," Wanda comforted, patting his shoulder, "But we mustn't give up. Now come on, we've got to follow them." She pulled out the Timmy Tracker and bounded off down the path. Still sniffling, Cosmo followed her.

…

The next place Cosmo and Wanda found Timmy and Sanjay was a little place labeled 'Malt Shop'. Disguised as food stains on the window, they watched as the two lovebirds stared into each others' eyes and sucked at a two-straw malt from the booth right in front of them.

"Y'know, the name of this place may tell you what it is, but I feel it lacks creativity," Cosmo mused as he looked up toward the shop sign, "Whoever named it must be either really lazy or really stupid."

"Cosmo, don't you think there's something a little more important going on right now?" Wanda hinted at him.

"Huh? Oh, right, Timmy," Cosmo remembered, "So what's the plan this time?"

"Well," suggested Wanda, "If we can't sway Sanjay, what if we swayed Timmy? Sanjay would feel jealous and angry if he saw Timmy with someone else, and might not want to be with him anymore."

"Well, I know you don't like it when I hit on other women," Cosmo said, "Let's go for it!"

Wanda glowered at Cosmo for a second, and then knowingly glanced off the side, where Trixie Tang was approaching the malt shop.

"And I know just the person to use," she said.

"Really? Who?"

Wanda ignored Cosmo and pulled out her wand. Sparkles suddenly fluttered around Trixie's head, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"Must…tell…Turner…I…love him," she dazed, hearts in her eyes but clearly on zombified autopilot, and turned into the malt shop. She walked over to Timmy and Sanjay's booth without even looking for it.

"Hi Timmy…" she greeted the boy dreamily.

Timmy looked at her. "Uh, hi Trixie," he returned, "What're you doing here? And could you make it quick? I'm kinda busy here."

"Of course Timmy," Trixie nodded, "I just wanted to tell you…I love you! A lot! Would you pretty please be my boyfriend?" She blinked cutely at him.

Timmy first blinked in astonishment, and then his face fell flat into a look of annoyance.

"Sorry, not interested." he passed off with a wave of his hand. "And, in case you haven't noticed, I'm already taken." He pointed a thumb in Sanjay's direction. Sanjay giggled, blushed, and waved daintily at her.

Trixie gasped, hurt. Outside on the window Cosmo and Wanda gasped in shock. Trixie teared up, then fled from the building, crying. As she passed the two food stains on the window, one of them waved a magic wand, causing more sparkles to flutter around Trixie's head. Trixie halted, blinking in confusion.

"What the…" she wondered, "What was I doing?" She caught sight of a billboard for a sale at the mall. "That'll work!" she smiled, and darted off.

On the window, Cosmo and Wanda were still baffled.

"That must be some strong wish!" Wanda announced, "Timmy wasn't even _fazed_ by the girl of his dreams!"

"Darn it!" complained Cosmo, "I want my wand back!"

"Well, if we can't get either of them to like someone else, maybe we can make Timmy seem like a really bad guy," Wanda thought aloud, "Someone you wouldn't _want_ to love."

"But Timmy's so likeable!" pointed out Cosmo, "How could you possibly make him _not_ likeable?"

"I'll show you just as soon as an opportunity arises," Wanda assured.

…

**Movie Date!**

It turned out that the next opportunity to meddle with Timmy's love life was the exit hallway of Dimmsdale's movie theater. Timmy and Sanjay were coming out of their movie when suddenly Timmy jerked and gripped his bladder.

"Need…to use…restroom..!" he gasped, and ran off in a blur.

"Ok!" Sanjay called after him, "I shall count the seconds until you return..! Ooone, twooo, threee…"

Behind a nearby garbage can, Cosmo and Wanda were disguised as floor popcorn.

"Finally," smiled Wanda, "Now we can put my plan into action..!"

"And I still don't know what this plan is…" groused Cosmo.

"Simple," explained Wanda, "Turn into Timmy and act like a jerk! It's foolproof!"

"Ah! No! No more rejection!" wailed Cosmo.

"Aww, relax sweetie," Wanda comforted, " _I've_ got this one."

She poofed into Timmy, save for pink eyes, and over to Sanjay.

"I'm back!" she announced.

"…twenty-seve-Timmy!" cheered Sanjay, "Wow, that was quick. Only twenty-seven point three four seconds!"

Wanda slapped him for no reason.

Sanjay beamed. "Thank you!" he said brightly.

Wanda looked surprised. "What?!" she said in astonishment, "I just slapped you! How can you be happy about it?"

"But Timmy," Sanjay elaborated, "Surely you knew that in some cultures, such as ancient Darkuvian, a slap to the face is a most welcome sign of affection. Oh Timmy, you have such a well-rounded and deep intellect. May I have another?" He bent forward, tilting his head expectantly.

Frustrated, Wanda not only slapped him again, but punched him several times in the gut to boot. Then stomped on him.

Sanjay sighed in ecstasy from the floor, hearts popping from his head again.

"I hate you!" Wanda shot at Sanjay, pointing angrily.

Sanjay, fully recuperated, rose from the floor and flipped his wrist with a laugh. "Ah, you are so funny Timmy," he said jovially, "I love your shining wit almost as much as I love your entirety. Let me kiss you to express a more pleasing form of this than you have shown me."

Wanda was amazed at his indomitability, and then realized what he had just said and that his puckered lips were approaching her face. Quickly, she acted.

"Uhh, be right back!" she exclaimed, and zipped out of Sanjay's arms and back to the trash can. Sanjay face planted as a result.

By coincidence, the real Timmy chose that moment to return.

"I'm back!" he announced, "Uh, Sanjay, why're you on the floor?"

Sanjay looked upward, grinning again. "Timmy!" he gushed, "Oh, you are such a tease..!"

Timmy quirked an eyebrow. "Uhh, right. Sure." He then said, "So are we going on the romantic rowboat lake thingy or what?"

Sanjay flew from the floor, erupting "Yes!" quite excitedly. He seized Timmy's hand once more and hauled the boy from the theater.

"Well, that didn't work," Popcorn Cosmo noted, "I guess your plan wasn't so foolproof now, was it? Huh? Huh?" He nudged Wanda teasingly.

"Shut up you," she warned.

"Ew, gross," a teenaged voice cut in, "This popcorn's so old it turned colors. And started talking." The sandy-haired teenage janitor lowered his broom and swept Cosmo and Wanda into his dustpan, ignoring their screams. He dumped them into the garbage can and then took the bag out, placing it on his trolley to be tossed in a dumpster.

Muffled from inside the bag, Cosmo said, "…Well, this is cozy. Gross, but cozy."

Wanda made a disgusted shudder noise. "Come on," she said determinedly, "Let's just go find that boat thing Timmy was talking about."

…

Sanjay and Timmy were seated in a white rowboat. Sanjay rowed it across a beautiful lake; a stereotypical large romantic sunset was behind them as they gazed lovingly at each other.

"Oh Timmy," sighed Sanjay, "This has been the most magical day of my entire life. I thank you for it. There is just one thing missing…and this time you are not getting away!" In a flash he was dipping a surprised looking Timmy, but Timmy's look quickly turned to a smile as Sanjay puckered and came towards him.

Meanwhile, observing from a bush on the lake bank, Cosmo and Wanda were panicking.

"What're we gonna do, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do-hoo-hooo?" Cosmo wailed, "I'm never going to get my wand back! Never!"

Wanda sympathized. "I know dear," she said apologetically, "And I'm fresh out of ideas."

" _I_ have an idea..!" a third voice broke in, and an evilly sneering head popped out of what was apparently the bush disguise of…

"Crocker!" Cosmo and Wanda gasped in unison.

"Yes, it is I! Crocker!" Crocker declared, and hopped out of his bush. In his hands was his fairy tracking device.

"So what's your idea?" Cosmo asked politely.

"My idea?" Crocker returned, "Why, it's for you…FAIRY GODPARENTS! to hold still and let me capture you of course..!" After he was finished contorting he switched out his fairy seeking device for a menacing butterfly net from behind his back.

Cosmo and Wanda shrieked, gripping each other in terror.

"Hey, look over there!" Cosmo suddenly pointed somewhere off to the side.

Crocker looked in the general direction he was indicating. "Over there?" he questioned, pointing.

"No, over there." pointed Cosmo.

"Over there?" pointed Crocker.

"Noo, over _there_!" pointed Cosmo.

"Over…there?" pointed Crocker.

"No, over there! Right, there." pointed Cosmo.

Wanda shared a flat look with the audience before raising her wand and making a 'Distraction!' poof.

"Over there?" pointed Crocker.

"Yes! Yes! There!" cheered Cosmo, and he clapped his hands.

"Oook," puzzled Crocker, "Now what am I supposed to be looking at?"

Cosmo shrugged. "I dunno, I forgot. Maybe it was a monkey!" He suddenly noticed the thing Wanda had conjured up drifting towards them. "Ooor," he said, taking interest, "Maybe it was that weird sparkling magic glowy weather balloon type thingy."

"Magic?!" Crocker exploded, "Where?!" He spotted the mysterious sparkling object floating over the horizon. "Ahh! It's mine!" Crocker yelled, and chased after it, cackling madly, his butterfly net raised in pursuit.

Watching him go, Cosmo commented, "He's nice."

Wanda bonked him on the head with her wand. " _Anyway_ ," she said forcefully, "Getting back to Timmy…" She indicated over her shoulder to the boy, who was by now making out quite openly with Sanjay, effectively removing all tension from that plot point.

"Oh right, him!" remembered Cosmo, rubbing his head, "But we still don't have a-Uh! I've got it! We'll pretend to be Sanjay's conscience and _guilt_ him into releasing Timmy! That always works in the cartoons!"

"Cosmo, this isn't a cartoon," scolded Wanda, "But I gotta say, that's not such a bad idea." She eyed her wand curiously. Had it done something to Cosmo's brain?

"Cheese waffles!" cheered Cosmo.

Nope, definitely not.

Wanda and Cosmo poofed themselves into Sanjay's ears.

Wanda cleared her throat. "Attention Sanjay!" she called, "This is your conscience speaking! Hello? Hello..!"

Sanjay continued to hungrily attack Timmy's lips, not hearing Wanda at all over his and Timmy's satisfied moaning.

In the other ear, Cosmo put his hands on his hips. He didn't like being ignored. Flames suddenly filled up his background, and in a gruff, deep voice, he demanded, "Unhand that boy, puny one!"

Sanjay de-latched from Timmy with a small 'Pop!' The look on his face was a stunned one.

"Heheh, sorry." Cosmo said in his normal voice, "I couldn't think of another way to get your attention."

"Who are _you_?" Sanjay questioned in amazement.

Outside Sanjay's head, Timmy answered, "I'm Timmy. You're boyfriend. You were just kissing me? What's wrong with you?"

"No need to talk out loud, Sanjay," Wanda rushed to explain, "We can hear you telepathically."

"Oh," said Sanjay. He looked to the impatient boy in his arms. "Forgive me Timmy," he consoled, "Uh, but I was so hypnotized by your radiance that for a moment I mistook you for a god."

Timmy smiled shyly and blushed, charmed. He reached for Sanjay's face and pulled him back into their smooch fest.

"Ooo, he's good," awed Cosmo.

'Now then, my conscious friends, what is it that you want?' Sanjay's thoughts pervaded the caverns of his ear canals.

"Well," Wanda started, "Don't you think it's a little odd that Timmy just randomly fell in love with you? Why do you think that is?"

'Because he finally noticed me!' answered Sanjay, 'He heard my heartfelt dramatic rant and offered to be my boyfriend.'

"You didn't happen to find a pointy stick right before that, did you?" polled Cosmo.

'Yes, I did actually,' Sanjay thought, 'And that is why I never put it down all day. It is my lucky stick. Even as we speak it is lodged safely in my back pocket.'

"Ah-ha-ha..!" Cosmo cried out in wanting, "So…close..!"

"Uh, ignore him," Wanda hastily remarked, "What if I were to tell you that that stick was a…a Peruvian Love Stick?"

'...A what now?' wondered Sanjay.

"Yeah, sure," Wanda yarned, "Anyone who touches it automatically attracts the person they love. Mystically."

'Really? Cool!' exclaimed Sanjay, 'Then I will never let it go as long as I live!'

"But don't you think it's unfair to keep Timmy yours by trapping him under a spell?" Wanda played to his guilt, "He should at least have some say in the matter…"

'Hmm…' Sanjay mulled, 'No! Nothing good ever happens to me! I don't care if Timmy _is_ under a spell. He's _mine_! You hear me? Miiiiine!' His thoughts laughed maniacally.

"This isn't going well," Cosmo commented.

"No, it isn't," agreed Wanda. They both floated there in Sanjay's ear canals, scratching their heads and trying to figure out what they could say to convince Sanjay to wish Timmy out of love with him.

Meanwhile Sanjay was more than happy to just make out with Timmy.

After a few moments of scratching, a candle poofed above Cosmo's head, indicating he had an idea.

"Hey, Sanjay!" he called out.

'Yes?' the boy responded.

"If you say this next sentence out loud, Timmy will stay yours forever, 'cause that's how the Peruvian whatchyamahicky works!" Cosmo pitched to him.

'He will?' Sanjay thought excitedly, 'That would be pure bliss! What is the sentence my friend?'

"'I wish Timmy didn't love me anymore'..!" Cosmo proclaimed.

Out loud, Sanjay repeated, "I wish Timmy didn't love me anymore? But how would that-?"

**In and out of love!**

One big poof later, Sanjay and Timmy found themselves seated on the bottom of the boat, blinking dumbly.

"Sorry we had to trick you, Sanjay," Wanda told the boy, "You wouldn't understand." And then they were out of his ears and on Timmy's wrist, disguised as twin wristwatches.

"Hey, what the-?" Timmy looked around, "Where am I? And what am I doing here with Sanjay?"

From his wrist, Wanda asked, "You don't remember?"

"Would he be asking those questions if he did?" Cosmo retorted smartly.

"Hmm, true!" realized Wanda, amazed that Cosmo even caught that.

Sanjay, meanwhile, looked downcast and sighed, "Ah well, it was dreamy while it lasted." He stood, and then approached Timmy. He knelt down and took one of the boy's hands in both of his own.

"I may have lost you for now," he said resolutely, "But rest assured, one day I shall reclaim you; though until then, I shall always remember today victoriously: the day, that I was Timmy Turner's boyfriend!" He placed a kiss on Timmy's hand, then, cackling insanely, dived into the water and swam away. The wand flew from his pocket and landed on one of the boat seats.

"Yaaay, wand!" Cosmo whooped, and he swooped down to grab it. He cuddled it tightly. "Oh, wand," he crooned, "I'll never lose you ever again! Can you ever forgive me?"

Cosmo then jolted and suddenly held it at arm's length, looking angry. "Well, excuuuse me! You don't have to get snippy!" he tartly remarked.

Wanda, meanwhile, was waving a hand in front of Timmy's face. "Timmy..?" she asked, "Timmy, are you ok?"

At last, Timmy seemed to process what the cackling mad child had said to him. He shouted at maximum volume, "BOYFRIEND?! _WHAT_?!"

Dangling half off the edge of the boat, where the outburst had blown him and Wanda, Cosmo dizzily declared, "Hooo boy, this is gonna take some 'splainin'…"

…

In the middle of a large grassy field, Crocker, panting, had finally caught up with the sparkling magic object he'd been chasing so animatedly. Grinning like a lunatic, he went to it as it touched down, his net up and ready to nab it.

And then his face fell in stun. The object was…a sparkly, glitter decorated white weather balloon. He glared at it.

"A weather balloon…" he muttered darkly, gripping his net tightly with both hands, "A weird, stupid, sparkly, glowy weather balloon."

He raised his net to the sky, snapping it as he screamed to the heavens, the veins on his neck threatening to pop, "Curse you, weather science! _Cuuuurrrrrse yoooouuuu_!"

He looked at the two broken pieces of net he now held. "Oh, poopie." he grumbled as the screen circled in on him, and then into blackness.


End file.
